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Reply To: A closure after a tough break up

HomeForumsRelationshipsA closure after a tough break upReply To: A closure after a tough break up

#164242
Mina
Participant

Dear Anita,

1. “But then you wrote: “I do not understand why it is so hard to “forgive” or let go of the situation?”- so there is no closure?

There is a closure. I was expecting that after I found this closure, I will be able to let go completely and it will make my pain disappear magically somehow, sorry for the confusion.

2. “I am curious about your “somehow sick view of love” that you have to sacrifice yourself for the one you love, as proof of your love, hiding your real emotions. I wonder about the origin of this view. Any idea?

I am sure you have read all my posts in this thread. I mentioned how much my ex struggles in his life in details, I have no rights to make his life harder … by sacrificing myself – I think I am easing up his pain a bit.

3. “You told your ex boyfriend: “I am disappointed in you.”- I wonder what you meant by it?”

I feel disappointed somehow because he did not fight for our relationship – it was selfish for me to say that knowing his situation but I loved him. I really did and I was hoping we would be able to fight together.

4. “You wrote that you are still protecting your ex with his secret. How are you doing that, presently?”

I told you in previous posts, my ex boyfriend had to lied to a lot of people and hid his depression regarding his study plan. People are asking me why did I broke up etc, but I never once tell them the real answer. Even during the relationship, I never shared anything regarding his struggles. I have no thoughts to tell this story to anyone regarding him, ever. He showed me his most vulnerable side, he trusted me with it. He hasn’t been able to tell his study plan to his faculty and friends yet so I am “protecting” him. If I were mean or vicious, I can email his faculty right now or share it with my friends about how the Chairman of Student Council in Business School is depressed, and he is actually moving university soon abandoning his responsibility.

Hope it clears things up.

-Mina