Hi ALY,

I’m sorry this happened to you.

It sounds like your father-in-law’s death triggered a psychic/emotional breakdown in your husband. This is the age when seemingly grounded, happy, middle age men freak out about their own mortality. So take some small comfort that this “love”, this woman, this affair ~ is not real. Your successful children, the life you built together and the past quarter of a century… THAT was real!

Tell your DH that you wish him the best, that you feel sorry for him, and that you know he’ll come to his senses soon. But that you’ll be long gone on new, bright adventures and happy romances. And though he may fool everyone as he’s trying to fool himself, he’ll still be an aging, mildly panicked man. That Death is (still) Always Coming.

Blessings,

Inky