“In racing, they say that your car goes where your eyes go. The driver who cannot tear his eyes away from the wall as he spins out of control will meet that wall; the driver who looks down the track as he feels his tires break free will regain control of his vehicle.”― Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain

When we re-visit past relationships, we tend to be selective about which memories our “eyes” go to.

“Inside each of us resides the truth. But sometimes the truth is hidden in a hall of mirrors. Sometimes we believe we are viewing the real thing, when in fact we are viewing a facsimile, a distortion.” ― Garth Stein

There is always unfinished work when a relationship ends, perhaps even a reason that the relationship ended. When we struggle with a current relationship it is not uncommon to return to the past, if unconsciously, to work out what is happening in the present.

The task is to make the unconscious conscious. What was it in the past relationship that was positive for you and what was experienced as a negative? Are you projecting anything that happened into the past into the present relationship? What lessons have you learned about yourself and which ones are you avoiding? Are you driving towards where you want to go or are you looking at what your afraid you might hit?

“We had a good run, and now it’s over; what’s wrong with that?”― Garth Stein