Hi David,

After only six months, it might not be a problem with “messiness” or her “controlling” your diet, but both of your coping skills and conflict resolution skills. Instead of fighting, which is not healthy for any relationship, if you truly love each other, you have to find ways to effectively communicate each other. There has to be a better way than “nagging” someone if they are messy, as that will never work, and her controlling issues will never work either. Because it will just put you on the defensive and a fight will evolve. You both need better communication skills at dealing with conflict and sitting down and calmly talking to one another. Using “I feel” statements. “I feel hurt when or uncated for or disrespected when you tell me I am messy and what I am supposed to eat”. “I feel you are trying to fix or change me instead of living me the way I am”. Then she could say, “I’m sorry, I have made you feel this way, maybe we could work together to find solutions”. If she gets angry, just tell her you won’t fight with her anymore, and will talk when she is ready and leave. I would also suggest couples counseling to help with better coping and more effective ways of communication and dealing with conflict.