I think now the bitterness comes more from a place of loneliness than it does me thinking I am undeserving of being in a relationship. I think I realised how tough I was from that exprience, I didn’t tell anyone for months because I thought I deserved whatever pain I was feeling (including Adam guilt tripping me and sending me mixed signals for 4 months)  and it showed me how considerate I was, because another person would have blamed everyone else for what happened (even though I was taken advantage of.)