Hi Cheryl,

I joined this site 2 days ago, my first reply was in the “cant seem to get away from negative thoughts” thread which is on the 2nd page. if you are interested because a brief history of what i am going through, have been through is on it. I know exactly how you feel. I have had a few days off this week and have been dreading going into work, like you am depressed, anxious and highly sensitive and if i may i will share what a friend of mine told me yesterday? Basically i have made some “wrong” choices in life recently, especially in jobs. A friend of mine has done the same thing and he is now at peace with himself. He has is own business now and when i was telling him about how miserable i am in my job but too scared to leave he replied” the trouble is mate you take it too seriously, after all they proved when they made you redundant what they think about you so do your bit then go home” Easier said than done for people such as us but…..  You owe your company nothing apart from turning up and doing your job to the best of your ability and as honestly as you can. I have learned this the hard way since i was “flushed away” by my company and it has been especially hard for me because some real wasters got away with keeping their jobs. I now am  going to leave work where it belongs. At work. I know i am going to have hard times as well as good and if you are reflective like me which i am sure you are (?) this will be especially hard when we hit a bad spot. By all means look, i know i am now, and by all means tell them if you like but do not feel guilty. I put a lot into my role compared to others and lost my job, self-respect and what little confidence i had because of 3 words. Charge hand redundancy. I am slowly trying to re-build but i now wait for the next time it happens so treat your employer for exactly what they are. A way for you to make a living and do the things you want to do.

Hope this helps, please reply anytime if you are feeling low? I know how you feel mate and you are not on your own.