Mina,

Sounds like you are in a painful place and I’m sorry you are going through it. I wanted to give you some perspective on the situation.

Based on your own emotions and how you are internalizing the break up you did the right thing by not accepting the 2 Guys advances. Weather it was bad timing or you were just not interested, you knew well enough not to engage so quickly in a romantic relationship.

But from the Guys perspective, they did what any guy would do if they wanted to be the shoulder for their grieving girl crush. Like you said they probably were looking for their opening and they took it. They desired to be the Guy to help you heal and to put a smile back on your face. You can’t fault them from trying to step to the pretty girl with the sad face.

Even with that said, whats matters most is that you protect your heart right now. And you did just that. Letting these Guys know that their advances was not wanted, makes it clear that nothing romanticly can come out of the relationship. This sets the tone that the relationhip can only be in the “friend zone.”

The reasons why you may be feeling guilty is 1. you knew they liked you on some level before and should have shut down those feels long ago and are frustrated that you have to do it now, when you are feeling at your emotional worst or 2. you care about these Guys as individuals and value the relationship but hate to be a heartbreaker, even as your own heart is breaking 3. you let your honesty mean that you did something wrong.

No one knows the depths of your emotional pain. Don’t expect others to understand your pain right now, it indescribable. Give the Guys grace for trying to “be there” for you although not welcomed. They would have never known unless they asked, so they asked, you said No and now they know. Release your guilt because you did nothing wrong but be honest. No one can ask any more then that. Put the focus back on where it belongs which is YOURSELF. Seek Gods face on how to heal from the relationship. Ask for wisdom on how the break-up is for your good. Medicate on the lessons learned from this “completed relationship.” If you are not doing so already, actively pray for your Ex that God will be his heart healer and comforter. I’m sure he’s probably in bad shape as well.

I’m sure you’re probably sick of hearing this but… You’re Going To Be Fine!!

Even though its not true today take comfort that it will be true in the future!!

Hope this helps 🙂