Anita,

You wrote : “If your “best friend for 3 years” does not “cares that inside that pretty face is a heart in pain”- then he has not and is not a best friend, is he?”

To be fair, my best friend was pretty confused about his feelings towards me. He is the type to fall in love easily, and I was also at fault for keep asking advices regarding my relationship at that time. My ex warned me already, that he probably sees me as more than a friend. I refuted his claims because I trusted my best friend of 4 years. After the break up, he was a very good listener and gave me a lot of useful advices. My ex was my biggest fan and supporter but I guess my best friend became that person after the break up, without me realising. He actually did not get to asked me to be his girlfriend because I rejected before the official confession. He sent me the song “Lucky” and at that time…. I just knew and it was confirmed by a mutual friend too.

It took a while and now we are best friends again. I pretended like I did not know about his unofficial confession and ignore or avoid relationship topics with him. He became cold after that, and was distant but I wanted to keep the friendship going regardless of his feelings towards me. I admit that I am very selfish but I had already lost my boyfriend, I cannot lose my best friend in this period.

“…. then he has not and is not a best friend, is he?

It is complicated. The line gets blurry. The thing is, I never exactly tell everything that is going on regarding my break up. He knows 90 percent of it but the rest 10 percent – I wanted to keep it private. My best friend choose a really bad timing without knowing, because he unofficially confessed to me on my ex`s birthday. Anita, you know how meaningful that day is for me. I was already a nervous ship wreck on his birthday and when I got my reply – I actually almost fainted from crying. My best friend did not know that I was in contact with my ex boyfriend. He also does not know how serious I was with my ex, to the point of almost sleeping together with him. I did mentioned though after a while that I was actually considering engagement if we had stayed together during his military service and my best friend was very surprised to hear that. So I guess, you can say that he does not know the nature of my past relationship.

You asked : “do you mean that now he sees you as more than a pretty face?”

Well, you have to ask him for that. I am not sure either. We always have a lot of fun together and having fun together has nothing to with my face, right?

Our personality matches pretty well. I mean I knew him for 3-4 years – we never really clashed during that period.

I hope he really sees me as a person right now instead of a potential girlfriend.

-Mina