Dear Diyana Zlanatova:

You wrote: “One says relationships are hard work, but I don’t know when it starts being unhealthy and when is it worth it going further?”-

The relationship you described with F has been unhealthy because the hard work he is doing is not about what is wrong with his own thinking and his own behaving but with yours. His analysis is about what you are doing wrong and what you should do to fix it.

You wrote: “He says my wish to break up is because I am traumatised of the experience and driven by fear, being way to pessimistic about us” and he tried “to ‘develop’ (you) to fight against (your) fears…(you) should meditate over (your) communication skills”-

He is not confronting his own fears about living alone, does he? And he is not working on his communication skills.

It is an unhealthy relationship because he is not looking at himself.

Adding to this, it is abusive to call you “stupid not to know he will forget the number…” and to threaten to put your stuff out on the street.

It is clear to me that this relationship has been unhealthy and that it is impossible for any woman to have a healthy relationship with F.

anita