Hi Kylee,

I don’t think you have “high expectations” at all. But as women, we have basic needs in a relationship. To me, “high expectations” would be trying to change or mold someone to fit what you want an ideal person to be, which is does not sound like you did that. High expectations, for example would be making or expecting a man to be funnier, to be more romantic such as “I want you to buy me flowers and candy every week, take me out to an expensive restaurant twice a month, make me a candlelit dinner every few weeks, taking me on weekend getaways every weekend, because I’m bored, buy me jewelry! “Tell me you love me, when I tell you I love you, you must do this!” “Text me back right away, as soon as I text you!.” “”Make sure to call me every time you go out with your friends to “check in”. Be home by midnight, if not call me! “Such and such boyfriend wears leather jackets, why don’t you ever dress up for me?”

These examples above are unrealistic and high expectations. What you had were basic needs we all need in our relationships, which you were not getting. We all need to be looked at when spoken to, to be heard. We need to know we are cared about. We need emotional intimacy, not just physical. We need someone who does not build walls, that we are forced to take down brick by brick just to try to get that persons attention. We should not invest more time or energy on someone then they invest in us.

Your ex was for some reason, emotionally available, and he did not seem like he wanted to grow and change in this area. I don’t know what his childhood was like, perhaps he did not have alot of nurturing as a child or very distant, emotionally unavailable parents, sometimes, people can only give what they have, and he could only give you what he had.