Dear cali sister:

I have the benefit of remembering yours and mostly your sister’s threads in the past.

The good news is that it is very possible for you to live a better life on an ongoing basis, to develop a healthier and healthier state of mind, confidence in your ability to function well, to function for your own benefit on a consistent basis.

I believe that you experienced lots of fear living with your mother and her compliant, passive husband (your father). When you fear “that someone has control over me now bc i like them”, I think it is your fear of your mother being activated.

I hope your psychotherapy is effective. It takes time but it also takes a quality therapist. I hope your sessions include more than “talk therapy” and more than getting insight into the past; that it teaches you skills, such as mindfulness, practical ways to calm yourself and new ways of thinking (such as in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy exercises).

If you have ongoing contact with your mother, it may be necessary for you to cut all contact, at least for a while, while you attend therapy.

Psychiatric drugs may be needed on the short term, as needed.

Please post again, anytime.

anita