Dear Lilly82:

I think you are unreasonably rushing the relationship because you are in a rush, suffering from anxiety, particularly  concerned with being 35 and wanting a family. Reads to me like he is a decent person, nothing to indicate otherwise. It is not his job to accommodate your anxiety by rushing himself. Neither is it a good idea for you to rush.

I think it is fine for you “to be honest with him” and tell him what you think and how you feel, including your anxiety and concern with your age and wanting to start a family. You can share this honestly without pressuring him. As long as you share this in a calm voice, describing it as your issue, something that predates him (was there before you met him), has nothing to do with him, not for him to do anything about.

Sharing your thoughts and feelings responsibly is very important in a loving relationship, a necessary ingredient. It is about how you share not what you share: share anything that is true to you .

Regarding you telling him I-love-you and him not saying it yet, I wouldn’t say it again because you feel uncomfortable about the words not being reciprocated. But these are just that, words. Isn’t it admirable if he didn’t say them because he takes them seriously, and he takes you seriously by being cautious this way? If so, you have a quality man which is something way.. way, way more of substance than a few words.

I hope you post again, would like to communicate more on this thread.

anita