Hello Anita,

I am so glad to read that you are also very happy to communicate with me all these time. I think you are a really great person too. I really do like you, and I connect very well with you on a emotional level, not a lot of people are able to do that with me. You are very smart, very sensitive and you aren’t afraid to tell things as it is. I think for these past 3 months, it has become a little heaven of mine to come here on this website and talk to you. I hope you do not mind me considering you as a friend 🙂

Regarding Singapores climate, you do not have to worry. Koreas weather is nice but I tend to have seasonal depression here especially during Winter and Summer – I prefer a country with constant weather like my home or Singapore. Korean food is really hell for me. I do not eat anything spicy so it is really hard, not mention their hard core drinking culture. I cannot stand it. My ex boyfriend “trained” me to drink for social reasons here but it did not worked out so well. I have a very limited amount of alcohol that I can take. One can of beer is already trying it for me.

In conclusion, I did made a mistake coming here. But now I can slowly see myself holding on for another 3 years. I have 2 plans regarding my future now – which I have carefully think about during these past months. I would try to apply for a double major for Business, and If I do not get accepted, I will definitely exchange to Singapore.

The exchange though, is a problem for my father – not really a surprise at this point, right? He was still very much pissed that I did not choose to study Business, he thinks that Singapore is a bad choice to exchange because Singaporeans does not speak proper English. They speak in a weird Chinese accent according to my Father who is in fact also half Chinese. He wants me to exchange to Australia, where he and my mother used to study together and got married. My father is very fond of a city in Australia, he wants to me to follow his steps but I really do not want to.

I do not like Australians in general or their culture or anything about them really. The only connection I have with it is because my parents forced me to connect with it in the first place. Took me to their old school and talked about how they almost named me after a river in Australia, I do not really care anyways.  I genuinely think that I want to work somewhere in Singapore after I graduated. It is very close to my home country and I get along very well with Singaporeans people and its people and its food and culture. It is the perfect country for me.

Here in Korea, I need to be perfect in everything. From my looks to my grades, you might not be familiar with the Korean culture but If you ever have a chance to visit a university here, it is almost like a fashion week in New York. No one here wear an old T-shirt and Jeans to school. Telling someone to lose weight is also a culture here. Imagine living here. Without me realising, I started to really despise Korea as a country in general.

You wrote : “Say only what is true. No need to share anything and everything with people, but what you do share, make sure it is true. This practice will help you feel less alone because you will not hide yourself behind fake niceness- it will be you in the front in every interaction.”

I will try, Anita, but no promises. Social pressure here is just very … high. I have to be as social as possible, and a part of being social is – there is a sense of being fake. I cannot put on a bad face or does not say anything when I meet people like my seniors or new people. I mentioned how hard it is to make friends so I have no choice but to do it like that. To survive and to have friends. In case if you order if it applies only to foreigner, my ex did this a lot of times too. Even worse because he was the student council president for thousands of people, he always has to be neutral and in a favourable position to everyone.

Sure, I understand that not everyone can like and accept me but I also understand that sometimes I have to just force or fake it out to gain friends overseas. Though these people does not end up being my close friends but most of them end up as good friends. I can talk to them and have fun with them. Emotional talk like this, I can always have it with someone else. My friends back home or you.

I would love feedback. x

-Mina

• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Mina.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Mina.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Mina.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Mina.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Mina.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Mina.