Dear Mina:

I am glad you like me too and you are welcome to consider me a friend.

I hope you do study and live in Singapore. Your father does not understand that it is he who likes Australia, not you, that you are your own person with your own likes and dislikes, your own personal experience of life. That is his misunderstanding. I hope he improves his thinking so it matches reality.

From your share I understand more about the Korean culture, of having “to be perfect in everything”- that is a lot of pressure. I have a better understanding now about the pressure you experience.

Regarding the fake niceness and the intense social pressure, I understand. In this context act fake but only when it is required. I suppose it is like saying “please” and “thank you”, and “have a nice day”, niceties people use as ways of social lubrication. Find opportunities to act authentically in between the required formalities.

When you have to follow formalities, or a social protocol, do so. But do take advantage of any opportunity to behave authentically, that is, to make your own personal, individual choices and follow through with those, from where you live (Singapore, not Australia or Korea) to who you interact with.

anita