Dear Aiman:

In the beginning of your post you wrote: “I feel that when I spend too much time with my family, I start to not like myself”- I think it is because they don’t like you. We all like to be liked, need to be liked. When they express their dislike of you, well, that is catching: you start to dislike yourself.

What they are trying to give you (food, laundry…)- you don’t need. What you do need (being liked, being approved of, being respected)- they don’t give you.

In the last part of your post you noted that you did your best to express to them what you expressed in this thread with no improvement in their behavior. You asked for advice about changing your attitude around them so that you are no longer distressed when in their company.

My advice: spend as little time as possible with them (and it is possible to not spend any time at all with them, since it is not illegal…). If you spend time with them, make it so that it is short in duration so you hurt less. Other than that, I have no advice because when you are treated with disapproval, criticism and disrespect, you naturally get angry, you naturally feel distressed. I have no idea how to change what is a natural response on your part.

anita