Dear sadpeach:

You told him that you are all-or-nothing in regard to the relationship with him, all or nothing, but you found yourself repeatedly in the middle of what you need and desire, so you lost hope that you can get what you need and be stuck in the middle, correct?

I hope therapy will help him with his struggles, which read significant, and so, it will take time and work if he persists. Maybe you can attend therapy as well, to get clarity and resolution regarding this on-again-off-again, unclear (and so, distressing) relationship.

anita