One of the purposes of Relationships is to act as a container were we workout the issues that keep us from becoming our authentic selves. The relationship should provide a safe place to make our issues conscious so that we might deal with it. Often, we will find that our past, (past hurts, expectations, hopes…) is in the present and influencing the relationships in various ways that we may not be aware of. (The TV show ‘This is Us’ has many good examples of how the past is in the present and how the characters deal with them in order to grow) If we never make the founding issues conscious then we will just keep replaying/recreating the dramas/fights until the relationship ends. It is often the pain of a relationship ending that is Love’s last attempt to get our attention.

If you have found yourself repeating patterns within the relationships then you might want to take some time for yourself and examine what it is that you really want and how your going about getting it.  In Relationship we assume we know what we mean when we use words like Love and the expectations we have about love yet very few people take the time to examine their role in love…

“Most people think of love as a feeling, but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.”  How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo  (very much recommend this book)