Dear iznogud:

What I understand is that your story (“let me introduce you to my story” is in the title of your thread) can be stated in this one sentence, the line before last right above:

“one day I woke up, and went to school and I gave up“-

Your life has been for a long, long time about the troubles of your sister and your mother and your father. Your life was not about you, but about them.

You fought to live your life by pursuing your interests (“I tried many things to find my passion , i played guitar , drew , did different sports , learn languages , learn to work in programs”) and you left to Paris on your own, to live your life, I am thinking. But then you gave up.

You gave up on living your own life, having you as the focus of your life. To change the existing mode of life (” like ameba”), take back your life. Your sister’s life belongs to her, let her have her life. Your mother’s life is her own, leave it to her. Your life is yours to live, live it your way.

Make you the focus of your life.

anita