Thanks for all your responses.  They help me process all this.  I definitely struggles with communicating my boundaries – to let him know what is and what isn’t ok.  I did address our relationship this morning and he was more receptive – agreeing to work on it.  He did not agree to see a counsel or together.  I am planning on getting my own counseling.  I have ALOT of shame around admitting to others we have a less than ideal relationship (even my family and close friends).  I did have a long talk with one of my friends today and was very open about things.  I then had a good cry.  Im gonna give it a bit of time and see how it goes with setting better boundaries (and not avoiding difficult conversations), talking more openly with my close family and close friends, & getting my own counselling.   I think I have some of my own shame issues to work on.  I have been having pretty bad anxiety (not hungry, trouble sleeping, tummy pain) – although it’s eased up a bit now with my talking to my friend and to my boyfriend.  He is being much more pleasant today… but this is only one day.