I think the shame comes from my people pleasing nature.  I always want people to think well of me (and this is where I get a lot of my self worth).  I pushed down my needs in the relationship in order avoid conflict.   I’m seeing a counsellor now – she feels I have a  passive communication style.  I’m hoping with my counsellor I can explore my patterns in the relationship.  I am feeling extremely guilty for never telling my partner what I truely needed.  I feel like it’s my fault.  He is being extremely cooperative in the breakup which is making miss him so much.  I’m definitely grieving the loss of our relationship (while emotionally he was distant, he was extremely reliable and dependable).  He doesn’t have a large social group and I am so worried about him getting lonely.