Dear Lisa:

My last post to you was about justice. I wrote there that life is not just and that “All we can do, individuals who care about justice and fairness, is make individual choices with these values in mind”-

It is just that you get medical benefits and a higher pay for your work. Therefore, it is just and fair that you pursue and take on a job that offers these things.

My second note is regarding your strong emotions: “I am feeling a tremendous amount of guilt…I have to be calm… I feel the only way I can deal with all of this is to be numb…all I can do is work and feel anxious all the time…I am crying now of course. Why do I have to be upset all the time?”

This is my answer to your question: because you are Alone (title of your thread). In the very beginning of your life and through the years of your childhood, you were very much alone. When a child is alone, in her room, door shut from the inside, while there were fights in the home, a child is scared. When there is no one to hug you, to silent that fear, to calm you, the fear goes haywire. That fear is your anxiety, that fear, experienced alone and without comforting, is that intense emotionality you experience.

If I could go back in time, into your world, I would give little Lisa a hug so big and warm, that it would melt that fear away.

anita