Hi Anita,

That is an interesting perspective.

I still feel very sad and not myself… My boyfriend is coming to visit me this weekend and I’m very scared… I’m not looking forward to it that much, because I feel like my overthinking habits have messed our relationship up so much that I worry I’ll make it worse. I think I just have bad memories about him coming to visit me, because the past few times, he left and then I just cried because his visit wasn’t anything like I imagined. ( it didn’t meet my expectations )

Throughout the whole of today, I was thinking “what if I actually broke up with him?”. My friend gave me the advice that the problem with me is that I worry too much about what’s going to happen after I make my choices. And I agree with that. So, what if, I just took a leap of faith and broke up with him? The thought of that… It’s very wild and not like me at all. It almost excites me because I wish to be more spontaneous in life. BUT then comes the horrible dread. “What if I am making a horrible mistake and he is the love of my life and I just need to be patient with him and our situation?”

I never take a chance and always want to play it safe. If I am honest, I do see many positives about breaking up with him. First of all, I won’t have to deal with this agonising problem every single day and I’ll feel like I have my life back. But doesn’t that meant that this could be solved by simply moving in together? I noticed my unhealthy overthinking habits that have been wearing our relationship down the past 5 months started as soon as we moved apart after university.

I almost can convince myself fully that it is the right choice to break up. I have nearly gotten to the “ok, I will do it” point, many times. And then, I see him in person. And when that happens there is no way at all I could do that, because seeing him in person and not just tapping away at my phone all day texting him makes such a big difference. However, it sometimes brings love and happiness, but it mostly brings worry and stress.

How can I tell if I am in denial and I do need to break up with him? Or is it my overthinking brain that ruins everything while nothing is wrong??

Fruzsina