Dear Poppy:

Yes, telling him to “man up” will be harsh because boys and men do not feel fear any less than girls and women. They hurt just like women do. No biology I know of that supports this social convention of manning up (other than literally one’s muscle capacity, and even this is not always the case).

You wrote that his parents are “very defensive & argumentative”- I suppose they don’t listen to him either, just like the people at his job. And they reel him in- that is not helpful, is it? Still damaging him perhaps?

anita