Dear Jeff:

I just read much of your writing since 2015. Reads to me that the reason you think so much about your ex girlfriend is that she didn’t have much time for you. And that triggered your craving to spend time with her, a craving that was there in you since childhood.

You wrote a few times that you were never alone, meaning I suppose that you were in a relationship soon after your divorce. And here you are currently in another beginning relationship. Thing is you must have been alone as a child. Maybe there were people around but you were alone nonetheless, unattended to. You craved attention then.

I think that your anxiety stems from that alone and lonely childhood, and so is the craving for attention, time spent with you, as well as anger about not getting that time and attention.

You wrote in a previous thread: “I have such a ‘hamster wheel’ mind that it never shuts off”- I think that this hamster wheel is fueled by anxiety and may have exhausted your ex girlfriend when she did spend time with you, causing her to need time alone, away from you (?)

If you would like, will you elaborate on the italicized part of this sentence in that previous thread: “My divorce hit me so hard as I am goal oriented and failure was never in my vocabulary when growing up, so it still isn’t” ?

anita