Dear Monica:

I don’t mean to ignore the distress. Resorting to fantasy is ignoring the distress. What I mean is to notice the distress, to relax and … invite it into your awareness. I have felt distress this very morning, so I will do right now what I am suggesting that you do.

I looked away from the computer for a few moments, and took a few easy breaths (before I was holding my breath).

Again, away from the computer, I felt the sadness I was ignoring earlier, distracting myself from earlier… I was tense before, now I feel calmer. I feel calmer because I allowed myself to feel sad. I accepted it and stopped fighting against it, stopped rejecting it. I relaxed into sadness.

anita