Dear Lester:

You are welcome.

I agree with you: you can’t help how you feel (neither can I).

I read loud and clear that you are in emotional pain and has been for a while.

I also know you tried hard to stay in this relationship in spite of the pain.

You wrote: “Is the solution to let her go? Yes, I don’t see that fixing anything too, but at this point that’s all I know to ease the pain”- I am interested in you easing your pain, so please do. End the relationship with her.

The conclusion though is not that you are “not meant to be with anyone”, but that you need to find out, when you meet a potential girlfriend, before deciding on an intimate relationship, if:

1. You can live without knowing her sexual history, if she is able and willing to not share, if you are able and willing to not ask.

2. If you can’t live without knowing, then ask her before she is your girlfriend about her history. See to it that her history is one that you approve of.

If you do decide to break up with her and you want to do it in a way that is least painful for her, let me know how you would do it and if you would like, I will give you my input.

anita