Anita,

I understand your point.

When I feel that intense distress, and I turn into fantasies and lashing out = Rejecting the distress

But by feeling it, no matter how hard, or how painful, without resorting to fantasy and lashing out = Accepting it

I have a bad habit of resorting to the fantasy by looking out old pictures, old conversation in my phone, even keeping a really old receipt from our last date … and I look at those little things as a fantasy/ escape during my distress moment.

So are you suggesting to STOP looking or keeping those things?

or do you have any other suggestions or advices that might work to stop the fantasy?

and regarding the lashing out,

I do not know how I can control it, the rage and the anger – I am very sensitive.

Too sensitive, I have to admit.

Little things gets to me, as little as missing out a class today, I had a mental breakdown over it.

During those mental breakdown, I would cry, feeling like everything is ruined …

I missed ONE class, and I genuinely think that my life here is over.

I immediately wanted to talk to Gyunnie, wanted him to hug me and comfort me. Wishing, crying, begging that somehow God would listen and let me meet him again.

I fell asleep (for 1 hour) from being too tired from the crying, and when I woke up, I felt ok.

It was weird … when I felt fine (calm) – I did not understand why I had acted the way I did before I fell asleep.

-Monica