I’m also afraid that all of this has nothing to do with her sexual past. That I’m just addicted to feeling miserable. I have great things going for me if I just don’t think about the past. But yet, I can’t help but hold on.

If this is the case, then I’d be letting go of something that could have been wonderful. I’m old enough to know that nothing is ever perfect. Maybe I just focus too much on things that are not perfect rather than the things that are.