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I agree. Completely… though I was hoping someone else would see it differently. He said his new girlfriend knows that we “catch up over drinks” after each session. This is something I said to him we should avoid, but he seemed very upset about it . I wonder if this is true, because there is no way she’s happy about it. He has talked to a best friend of ours and expressed how scared to new girlfriend is of my memory, and believe me, I am a ghost. I purposefully initiated not contact and I am doing this now but I know it will end soon.
He is very jealous, not just romantically, but professionally, socially, and he values loyalty a lot. The way I remember him, he was very jealous and I had to be careful about how I dressed, where I was at all times, setting up mutual schedules, and I needed to explain why I was late by minutes. Knowing other friends and women he had dated in the past, I have come to the realization that he was not like that with any of them, so I think this was something between us. In fact, me being loyal, has always been something he praised. I think he can be loyal. I don’t think he’s cheating on his girlfriend, though he seems to straddle his approach toward me every time he sees me. He is touchy one moment, next he starts crying and pulling away saying that he has to be appropriate. I don’t touch him or get close to him, but somehow his actions make me feel as though I am the one to blame. I know I go to therapy because I want to make sure that I’m heard, that there is a witness to what happened to us, that our dreams mattered, that our child mattered. And this is the only opportunity I have for that. I believe he may end up marrying this new woman, and having a valuable family with her.