Dear anita,

Thanks for always responding. I think what i did was not equal to what he did to me the whole times. He was rude every time we picked fights. He also didn’t want to care about my feeling although I already told him if he made me sad. I only said “i will kill you” in a not serious manner and it was not me being so furious, i kept my voice soft indicating its only an expression.

Trust me, in our relationship, I think I always forgave him no matter how big his mistake was. And what I wanted you to understand is that I believed he only wanted to push me away because he was ashamed of his friend! Not because my wrongdoing was unacceptable. Anyway, whether you still agreed that I was the one to blame here, I just want someone to understand that I did become a good girl the whole time, and he behaved that way just because he wanted to be free from me and because of his parents too..all I wanna understand is why he could do the cutting right away even 1 hour before we were laughing together in a video call and joking around!

His quick change of behavior was the one that I never forget. I just need to spit everything out here to reduce my heavy emotional baggage.