Dear Gagan:

I understand the feeling good draw. And so, your spending time with her is understandable to me, moth wings and all.

There are lots of good and intelligent people in the world living their whole adult lives believing something that is not true. And you may be one of these people, having a lifetime in front of you living in Regret (the title of your thread). That will be a shame as it will cause you lots of misery. I will explain:

I agree with you that “We all have flaws, and she has hers. I do not desire perfection”- but how much of an imperfection is too much of an imperfection? You already expressed that she has to be always right, when in conflict. And she did and will hang up the phone on you, when in conflict, which is not the “care and understanding” that you desire. Having to always be wrong when in conflict is indeed far from caring and understanding. But I will place this point aside for the moment.

Look at her behavior from the bigger perspective: she has been physically intimate with you while at the same time (a day before and after), she has been physically intimate with the other guy, hasn’t she? What does this mean to you?

And like Eliana pointed out, what would it mean to the other guy if he knew about it?

And as I wrote to you posts ago, looks to me like the development of what often takes place: she may very well contact you repeatedly while married to the other guy, the two of you will continue to get physically intimate. And all along there will be that Regret on your part: if only you married her before.

And all along… that wouldn’t have been a good idea.

anita