So Sunday went better than I expected, but did leave me confused.

When I got to his place we chatted for a while just about how work is, what’s new etc., but didn’t talk about how we’re doing emotional kind of thing.  I was upbeat and tried to play it cool, and I think it worked.

We watched a show, and cuddled on the couch for a long time.  We did end up sleeping together, which I”m not sure was a mistake, but it felt right.  We laid in bed for a long time just talking, but I didn’t open up, tell him about my worries or concerns, or ask him what we are or what we’re doing, or where he’s at.  He was talking about things he wants to do with me this winter.  Told me he loves me, and a couple of times told me not to worry.  I didn’t expand on this or ask him what he meant because I didn’t want him to think I’m looking for an answer or pressure him.

When I went to leave he kissed me, said he would be in touch while he’s away (he’s off to visit his parents a few hours away for a week).  And he made a comment ‘you’re not going anywhere’ and not to ‘get into too much trouble’.

We text a bit when I got home, and it was like we were back together.

I haven’t heard from him since, although it’s only been a couple of days, so I’m trying to just go with the flow and at his pace in order not to lose him.  I don’t want to put pressure on him, but the same time, I’m not sure how long I can be in this state of not knowing what we are or what we’re doing.

It seems clear to me that he wants to be with me, he just needs time I think to sort through whatever he needs to sort through.

I’m trying to stay strong and give him the space he wants, but I miss him so much.