Dear Matt:

Your anger is very evident in your original post. When angry we think in extreme terms:

“this world always been against me” – probably not always.

“I don’t see any mercy”- there is some mercy in your life, be it music.

“I never get what I want”- sometimes you do.

“I feel like trash every day”- not every single day.

“I feel so deeply damaged every second of every day“- not every second of every day.

Pay attention to this all-or-nothing thinking. If you aim at healing, you will need to notice when you do experience something positive, like calm or mercy or self esteem, so you can make these positive experiences last longer.

I understand you live at home and you are still a teenager, right after high school? If so, are you living with your mother (parents being divorced?)

If you live at home, what are your current relationship with the parent present at home?

anita