Dear Shirley:

Welcome back to your thread, more  than six months after your last post. Good to read from you, that you are doing well.

Thank you for the update about the different people in high school life. Your special friend has been the one constant of all your friends ever since middle  school. What is he studying, by the way and  is he still in the relationship with his high school girlfriend?

Regarding your questions:

1. “How do you tell your friends that you need time for yourself without seeming rude?”- you say to them what you shared here, that you love spending time with them but you have  homework to do. You can add, if you’d like, that you work on three assignments a day and check your work repeatedly  before submitting.

2. “What are good ideas to do with a person you love? I love my special friend and want to spend some more time with him and start a relationship”- you already met him many times  before, for a run, with the wind in your hair, as you shared before. You can do that again, go for hikes in nature, as you have done. And talk, ask him questions, listen to him, share your thoughts and feelings.

3. “How do you tell someone who disagrees with your career choice that you are truly passionate about it without confusing them and also getting impatient?…my parents don’t think that engineering is a career choice for females. I dislike their view that females can’t be analytical and do complex calculations”- you don’t. You have been seeking your parents’ approval for too long and failed to receive it. I don’t  think it is possible for you to succeed in this ongoing attempt. And so, my answer: abort future attempts.

4. “How do I  prevent myself from becoming too overwhelmed with college assignments”- because you are in the habit of checking your homework “five/six times before submitting”, limit the  checking to two times before submitting and adhere to it. After the second time, no matter  how strong the urge to  check a third time, resist the  urge and submit. This will be a  beginning.

anita