My dear dear friend Anita,

Thank you for always being here at my rescue, i honestly feel like i have made a beautiful friend and i bet we live thousands and thousands of miles away from one another.

My sister is very jealous, she is the one that had to look after me when my mm abandoned me. She always says to mum that i am the favorite daughter, and i also think it stems from the fact her dad ( My step dad treated me so well, probably even better than he did his own daughter for some bizzare reason) shes never failed to remind me that he is not my father. No matter what i say it is always wrong, and she is very opinionated, but i know all i can do is just back down otherwise i get very very angry and we will probably end up not talking again.

I remember this subject came up with my Councillor once, on why i feel like i am the wrong one all the time and having to seek attention all the time, is basically what you told me. I didnt receive the love i needed as a child, i wanted approval from my sisters as i had a different dad and felt different and not wanted, i wanted approval from my biological father, from my step father, from my friends who had normal families and fathers whom were at home with their mothers.. i feel the same today, i want approval. Even when she came over to the house today as she had to because her house is having some work done, she pretended like nothing happened, and i being overly nice..not in a fake way but just to make her know that i love her. I sometimes feel disgusted in myself that i am that way, she hurt me deliberately and she didnt even apologize, so why again do i want and need forgiveness for something i have NOT done??

Blessings