Dear Nao:

In your original post you wrote regarding your ex boyfriend: “I did nothing but love him.”

Well, it is not true that you did nothing but love him. When you fought with him, when you ignored him for a week and so on, you didn’t love him. Neither did he love you when he fought with you, participating in the same fights.

Fighting, or aggression is not necessary in a relationship. It is possible to have a relationship and to not fight. Aggression kills love. Sometimes it leads to a breakup, at other times, the couple stays together in a tense, miserable relationship. In any case, aggression and love do not go together. It is impossible to make up for aggression again and again by making up after breaking up, by being loving after the aggression and then returning to aggression.

I hope that you consider an aggression free relationship in your future. I hope you recover from this heartache, and do post again, if it helps.

anita