Thank you everyone for your replies. I have decided that I’m going to at the very least tell him I cannot be a secret any longer. That part feels very demeaning to me. It feels like I am not worth the risk of possible negative consequences. I feel like I am not a priority. A few times he had said he couldn’t get together (I am the one who is always instigating the plans) because he had to clean his bathroom or was unsure if he wanted to do anything but wanted to stay home.

All in all I feel like he is getting what he wants out of me with as little effort as possible.