Dear calisister:

Feeling as anxious as you have with men, you simply didn’t practice self control, didn’t control what you said, mostly, blurted out a lot, impulsive, talked without thinking, before thinking, didn’t think.

If you are going to see Alex again, if you spend time with him, I suggest the following: let him know before you see him, perhaps online, that you will be taking a vow of silence throughout the time you see him and explain to him why (my first two lines here, more or less). And then, when you see him, say nothing. Nothing at all. If you want to offer him tea, do it in sign language, show him a bag of tea and raise your eyebrows.

My suggestion is not a joke, not at all. Sincerely, I see it as the only way to go, if you are to see him. I think it will be quite therapeutic, if he is understanding, respectful and cooperative.

anita