RoxySue,

Good for you for taking care of yourself.

By the way, I was re-reading your posts and in case you are hesitating on leaving him here is what you have said about him and your half-relationship:

I am the one driving the relationship, including when we see each other.

He has self-described walls up

He says he does not love me

has told me he doesn’t care what I do, is still in love with his wife and could give or take a relationship

he couldn’t get together (I am the one who is always instigating the plans) because he had to clean his bathroom 

she (his ex-wife)  feels he is selfish with his time and his emotions 

His ex-wife captures it all.

Let us know how things go.
Mark