Interestingly one of the physiological purpose of relationships is to heal the past so each person in the relationship can individuate. Become the best version of themselves. We subconsciously tend to pick partners that will recreate or simulate past experiences to give us a chance to heal them.

A woman who is angry at men might pick a partner she can project that anger on with the subconscious hope that the partners Love will reveal the projection for what it is  which creates the chance for her to integrate her shadow – taking ownership of what belongs to her and letting of the stuff that doesn’t and doing so heal the past.

The danger of course is ending up in a co-dependent relationship where each person fears and hurts end up feeding the others fears and hurts. Instead of healing the issues become even more entrenched.

I think that if two people are conscious of this process they might be less likely to panic when the ‘past comes out to play’