Dear Joyce:

You are welcome. When your thoughts drift to your ex, you are not betraying your boyfriend. Nor are you betraying your boyfriend feeling anything you do for your ex or for anyone, really. We don’t have control over the thoughts and feelings, these just happen, come about. We don’t choose our thoughts and feelings, therefore they are not wrong and we are not guilty for those. It is only our actions, what we say and what we do that is subject to our choosing.

It is better that you don’t… confess to your boyfriend your thoughts and feelings, it may hurt him and not help you. Better keep those to yourself or share them with other people, as you do here. This is one way to “treasure him (your boyfriend) properly”.

It may help you to adjust to a relationship where you are treated well if you notice in your daily life, with other people, other interactions, notice if you attend and try to please those who criticize you while ignoring those who don’t. If you notice this, ignore or assert yourself with those who criticize you and attend graciously to those who are kind to you.

anita