Hello,

I posted the above last post prior to seeing your reply.  I will reply here:

“Look at your success, look at these five lines I wrote here, above.”

Looks to me that my “success” is finding these individuals (although they are different) momentary relief, at the expense of my emotional state, at the expense of severe emotional burnout.  Moreover, this “success” is futile.

They cycle in and out of distress, and I am there to temporarily place bandaids, give the toddler candy to assuage the current tantrum.  The “success” or “relief” they feel from me is not long lasting yet–the burnout I feel creates wounds in my life and those around me that is very deep and long lasting.

this is not success at all, this is habit and pattern.  this is relying on imprinting (coming to me for relief) to get out of drowning water just to cycle over and over, bobbing the head in and above water.

I must break myself out of this pattern, as I am not achieving any “success” at all – not for them, not for me.