Dear Cali Chica:

I am about to get away from the computer for about sixteen hours or so and am not as focused as I would like to be. Maybe I will come up with something better tomorrow morning. For now, regarding reminding yourself that # 2 cannot coexist with #1: go over this thread, copy parts into a word document, print it, carry those notes for re-reading (your physical symptoms come to mind, notes about your husband suffering, notes about Bodhi, your imaginary future child).

When you suffer guilt next time, the unjustified guilt of not accommodating those who.. want to hurt you, look at the mirror. Look at your eyes, see the pain there. Have a photo of you taken, maybe, of your face in pain. Carry that photo.

anita