Anita thanks for the response. Here are my thoughts –

Consider ending your marriage, as it is a living arrangement, nothing more, is it? I have thought about it and reasoned with myself  100’s of times. For one I live in CA in the bay area living cost is very expensive. I have cut coupons and saved to buy a home and we were lucky to buy this home at the right time and right price. Divorce would mean we would have to sell the home or i would have to leave I cannot afford to keep and pay mortgage. My husband did not save much during his bachelor days coz he had family responsibilities.  Which was kept hidden from me up until I got after i got married and came here to the States. It hurt me so much to know my parents kept this from me I grew up in a home where 90% of my fathers anger steamed from his brothers betraying him on property matters ,  knowing pretty well how much he struggled to make it as his own how did he hand me over to a guy who had so much family responsibilities of his own? In any case all things said and done I took a brave step and started saving and until my Green Card got processed I could not work that took about 4 yrs. So I worked and saved and disciplined him into saving so we could buy our home. I am not ready to give it up and I do not think its fair to ask my husband to pay or give it up. My son loves our home and says he wont ever move from here. Irrespective of everything my parents have told me every marriage has problem and there is no such thing as love that will last and so divorce is far fetched.

Attend quality psychotherapy is such is possible for you. – I have been to a therapist before and all they do is validate you, I keep talking and all she/he does is nods and validates.

Consider future dating, when single, no longer married. Consider dating that will not interfere with you being an effective mother to your son. In such dating, get to know men, as friends first. Get to know their nature so to choose to get involved only with a man capable of loving you well, a man who is honest with you, trustworthy, reliable.

It is possible for you to love and be loved in return, if you are able to learn who a man is, and choose one capable and willing to love you in return. – I am 40 YRS  old and I have a son. Mike is 52 and is dating a woman who is half his age (she looked very young in the pic). So woman in their late 20’s and early 30 are dating men in their 50’s so what do you think are the chances of me finding a man who will date me? I do not have a banging body I am avg looking and I see my single friends in their mid 20’s who are  gorgeous and cant find a man to date. A friend my mine who got divorced about 15 yrs ago decided it is time she settled down and wanted an American man (she has specification tall , blue eyes, and earns well). So she comes to USA every  few months and gets on Bumble and goes on dates like at least 20 men and this gal has confidence, looks and a charming personality and she still has not struck a guy. So tell me where on earth do I have a shot of love?