She left our apartment almost two weeks ago. We had lived here together since 2008. She took almost nothing. I feel like one of the abusive jerks that women run from to be safe, but that isnt me. Never once even suggested any violence toward her – even in the end. I viewed the lack of contact as her defense mechanism so i dont convince her to come back, didnt think fearing me was a possibility.

We did not have children together, each brought 2 to the relationship from previous relationships. They were 1, 4, 5, 6 when we got together.

I know she’s afraid in general. One of the few things she told me is that she is terrified about what she’s going to do now. Having a hard time swallowing this because shs went from wanting to get so close to me that she transferred directly into my small department of the large company we work at to running away -parhaps in fear like you suggest. I cant reach her.

She’s so “afraid” of me that she’s living out of her car. I dont want to threaten her well-being, but she’s crushed many people’s well-being by leaving. I have no idea what she’s telling co-workers or others to rationalize her leaving. I know that she has no problem playing the victim card. Which makes me worry about what you said. I always believed the troubling stories about how she’s been abused, but looking back – theres no way for me to know if any of it was true. Now (since im in this position) I’m afraid she’s gonna create another “victim” situation to protect herself. That leaves me defenseless because in  this day and age so many abusive jerks have damaged women, the truth almost doesnt matter. I dont think I should worry about this, but I dont know why or what she’s going to do if she feels “afraid.” So on top of the heartbreak, now I’ve got a new concern…this is just getting worse.