anita,

when i sleep, i have nightmares or what feels like constant thoughts.

when on that hike, i still had ruminating thoughts even while i felt happy to be with him. still distressing thoughts – even if not incredibly negative.

mexican meal – i like the food, but my natural state is anxious so i still have to crack my back, shake my head, take deep breaths, and those thoughts are still there. still feel the same tension. i am enjoying it, but still feel just as distressed.

reading your posts makes me FEEL better and i like what you say, but the distress is the same.

yes, the aloneness – what can i do about this?

regarding therapy – we are starting the process of self-parenting. im sure you did the same/were recommended something similar when you initiated therapy. i have a doll that represents my inner child.