joanna,  Of course you want to be with a man that makes you feel safe.  I think that is a Universal need.  And you know that this man is not the right person to do that.  And yes, we do need to love and care for ourselves as well.

I believe we still need a community, a friend or some sort of support and caring outside ourselves in order to thrive.  Ideally we also would have a committed romantic partner who can do that as well.  I don’t think it is healthy to have just one person we can feel safe with.

I wish you well in your journey in finding safe people and co-creating healthy relationships.

Mark