So as a postscript, his wife said at the her moment she does not want to work on things so he asked her if she wanted a divorce and she told him to do what he wants. So he is moving forward with filing in the next month or two, but he is not sure what she will do …that is, if she will realize it’s actually happening and come back. He says he is not sure if she really wants it to happen.   He also says he is not sure what he will do if she stops him from filing and wants to work on things. I asked him if he is filing for divorce to call her bluff (test her) and he says no. He feels like he can’t be with anyone at this time. He is confused and needs to get through this time alone. He would like me there if  he gets divorced, so things can be in the open, but he doesn’t want me to wait. He also said that consistent with what he said at the beginning of this almost two years ago, that right now he doesn’t think he wants a full on relationship regardless of the situation with his wife.  So even when he is single he will want to date me but may not want a committed situation. He doesn’t know when he will want that.

Per Mark, I suppose I need to cut him out for good…