Ash,

I agree with anita about not needing to heal completely in order to be in relationship again.  I believe it is through relationships we learn the most of ourselves and get a chance to heal through our interactions.  We get challenged.  We have opportunity for more self awareness.  We get to practice healthier behaviors and do something different this time around.

But first and foremost we need to develop our inner resources so that we can go back out into the world without inflicting upon ourselves harm that we are not quite strong enough to withstand.  This is self love, developing a support safety net of people, and ways of nurturing ourselves, strengthening our emotional resiliency, bringing awareness to what is healthy and what is not like having boundaries.

Best,
Mark