Hi Mathilde-S,

It looks like you are in good hands, but I did want to make a short comment, because I have been keeping up with this thread, and hope you don’t mind. I too struggle with this. I am trying to work this out in therapy and my 12 step programs, but my therapist put a word to it, called anxious attachment, or something similar to that. I too get attached very quickly..the giddyness, the excitement, therefore, I have alot of unrealistic expectations of the man and end up sabatoging the relationship 3-6 months later, heartbroken..then it takes me forever to “get over” that person..I dwell, and dwell and drive my self crazy with the “if only” what if I would have” I go from anger, to sadness, to self-pity, to shame, the list goes on. This can be worked out in therapy or the pattern will keep repeating itself. We will continue to fall for men who can’t love us back, or we fall too quickly and scare them off, or get clingy, etc. They become all consuming, the center of our world “When will he call?? Did I do something wrong???” and the anxiety goes on and on. I have decided continuing like this I will not find love in this state of anxiety and inner turmoil. I just want peace. There is a book that has helped me immensely, called “Co-dependent no more” by Melody Beattie. It has been around a long time and is a best selling book. It gets updated every year. I think you will find it helpful as I have. x

• This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by Eliana.